Colorado Avalanche: Who Sits At The Cool Kids Table?

It’s not so much which table you choose, but which Colorado Avalanche players are sitting at which tables – and why.

Offseason can be tough, mostly when players are not avid social media users, but thank the Internet Gods we have memes to keep us entertained. By now, you are very familiar with the “where y’all sitting” or “table meme”, but the real question is: in which tables would the Colorado Avalanche players sit at?

As much as the team is family, we have to be real: they wouldn’t sit at one big table. And very much like in any teen movie or sitcom, the Colorado Avalanche cafeteria is divided in groups, and here’s what the table/squads would probably look like.

The Cool Kids

Of course, our captain Gabriel Landeskog would sit at this table, along with his top line buddies Nathan MacKinnon and Mikko Rantanen. They would also be joined by Erik Johnson, because why wouldn’t he sit at the Cool Kids table?!

Sam Girard is one of those that is welcome on every table, but he spends most days with the Cool Kids because he has a special bond with EJ.

There’s also a seat with a photo of Tyson Barrie pasted on it. Pretty self-explanatory.

The Tough Guys

Led by Nikita Zadorov, the guys at this table are not bad, but they like to mess with their teammates and won’t hesitate to drop the gloves to defend the rest – or just to teach the other team a lesson.

Sitting next to Big Z you will find Ian Cole and Matt Calvert. Sometimes EJ has lunch at this table, and they most likely plan new ways to mess with their teammates (and new ways to defend them on the ice as well).

The Kids Table

It’s not so much because they’re young (although they are) but because they are silly and fun all the time. Here we can find Tyson Jost, Andre Burakovsky, and Mikko Rantanen, who spends half lunchtime here and the other half with the Cool Kids. You’ll find an empty seat that shall remain as such – that’s where Alexander Kerfoot used to sit. Respect.

Although he doesn’t like to be seen on this one, J.T Compher loves spending some time with Josty and Burkie at this table. When he’s not laughing at whatever they’re saying, Compher can be found at…

The Intellectual Table

Don’t be fooled by the name – they can be pretty silly too. Compher sits next to Colin Wilson and Pierre-Edouard Bellemare, one of the new kids who has a lot of cool stories to tell. Josty likes to visit this table sometimes to hear some of those stories, but probably the biggest blessing from this table is getting to see Colin Wilson smile. All the time.

Chill Table

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This is the table you go to when you need to wind down, because the players that sit here have that super relaxed vibe that just draws people to them. You can take a sit next to Matt Nieto, Ryan Graves, Philipp Grubauer, and Kevin Connauton. If you are a fan of The Bachelor, you will have something in common with Connauton, so you can discuss the latest on the show with him. It’s ok if you’re not a fan, though. This table knows a bit of everything and you can have a very nice conversation with either and all.

And then there’s…

There are three players that haven’t found “their table” yet, but that’s ok because they get to spend some time at each, especially Cale Makar. As the “new new kid” (you know, because he is the youngest and the latest to join the NHL), everyone wants Makar at their table, so he tries to spend at least one day at each.

Nazem Kadri chooses his table depending on his mood. Sometimes (or more like most times) he sits with The Tough Guys, other days he feels like sharing life stories with The Intellectuals, and others he’s just so tired he will go to the Chill Table to have a laugh and just forget about everything else.

Joonas Donskoi goes with the flow, and because it’s the Colorado Avalanche, he’s welcome everywhere. The Kids Table has secretly set up daily bets on which table he will go to each day. It’s unknown if he will ever find “his table”, but it doesn’t seem to bother him – he’s having a good time.

And that’s what the Colorado Avalanche cafeteria looks like. Now it’s time for you to choose your table (it’s ok, you can choose more than one if you want).