Colorado Avalanche Defenseman Kevin Connauton and The Bachelor

GLENDALE, AZ - MARCH 02: Kevin Connauton #44 of the Arizona Coyotes stretches prior to a game against the Detroit Red Wings at Gila River Arena on March 2, 2019 in Glendale, Arizona. (Photo by Norm Hall/NHLI via Getty Images)
GLENDALE, AZ - MARCH 02: Kevin Connauton #44 of the Arizona Coyotes stretches prior to a game against the Detroit Red Wings at Gila River Arena on March 2, 2019 in Glendale, Arizona. (Photo by Norm Hall/NHLI via Getty Images) /

New Colorado Avalanche Kevin Connauton enjoys watching The Bachelor so much that he appeared in show recaps with the Coyotes.

One of the Colorado Avalanche’s newest defensemen, Kevin Connauton, is apparently a fan of The Bachelor, ABC’s show about young men trying to find love by doing some reality TV with young women. Well, I don’t know if Connauton is a fan, per se, but he’s watched enough episodes of The Bachelor to be able to talk about this season with Biz Nasty, former Coyote Paul Bissonette.

Anyway, this season, the 23rd of the series, features Colton Underwood, a 26-year-old former professional football player whom I believe is no relationship to Carrie Underwood, who, of course, is married to former Predator Mike Fisher. (I got confused about all that once and called her Carrie Fisher, much to the delight of my co-workers.)

So, back to Kevin Connauton. I’m actually going to go out on a limb and say empirical evidence that Connauton is a fan of the show because I found that he was making these videos back in January 2018:

That was a different show with a different cast — set of contestants? — so let’s look at Kevin weighing in on the most recent season.

Spoiler alert: The season is over, and I’m going to give away who won the Stanley Cup — the St. Louis Blues. Oh, I’m also going to include spoilers from The Bachelor.

Anyway, Connauton also weighed in on the first episode of Season 23:

In this episode we apparently learn that Colton is a virgin and he can graciously receive a bag of nuts as a gift and Christian Fischer can’t handle that without making a sophomoric joke. And, to be frank, neither can I.

Meanwhile, our player, Kevin, is a little more mature. He thinks Colton is a good guy who knows how to work the celebrity profile with some shower scenes. Indeed, he also eschewed the virginity jokes — our Kev appears to be an adult in the room.

Ultimately, he wasn’t a fan of the sloth girl (she came in wearing a sloth costume for “You like to take things slow.” He liked snorkel girl, who bounced in with, “I hear you’re drowning in b*tches.”)

Connauton also had some opinions about the second episode:

Ok, Fischer really digs The Bachelor — watch how excited he gets. But, returning to Kevin, he apparently is really into the rebellious contestants. In this episode one of the girls touched the rose, which apparently is like touching the Stanley Cup, and Connauton was into that rebellious act.

Let’s skip ahead to Episode 4. Once again, Fischer steals the show, but once again, he’s not a Colorado Avalanche. So, moving on. Connauton starts out with some reasoned analysis of the plot:

I will say that he seems excited to do these Bachelor Report episodes. Also note, Kevin is right. Some girls would rather see their love interest making out under fireworks rather than gifting other girls expensive shopping items.

Ok, another jump, to Episode 9. So, apparently this was a hot topic episode in which one of the young woman’s father forbade her from continuing in the show and… I’m not going to rant about that situation because this post is supposed to be about Kevin Connauton.

And Kevin thinks the young woman, Cassie, is the one for Colton because he said he wanted her to win. Yet Cassie still left, and Connauton thinks the only way this season can play out is if Colton somehow finds a way to get back together with Cassie.

Well, so we’re going to go straight to the season finale, which I believe aired the following week. Here’s the main spoiler: As Kevin Connauton predicts, Colton finds a way to get with Cassie.

First of all, things get super-weird between Biz and Fischer, and now I’m a little sad I’ll never watch these Bachelor Reports again. Anyway, Kevin, for his part, was satisfied at how the finale played out. When Biz tries to goad him into being a dog, in typical hockey player fashion, he deflects — and brings up some old dating show I personally have never heard of.

Ultimately, he recognizes the show, and its spinoff The Bachelorette, are all about ratings. And while he prefers one of the other contestants to be the next Bachelorette, he understands why the producers picked who they did.

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As you can probably tell, I don’t watch The Bachelor. However, I think it’s fun to see players talk about some of the shows or other interests in such a regular posting.

I don’t know which Colorado Avalanche players watch The Bachelor — off the top of my head, I’d guess captain Gabriel Landeskog and possibly Matt Calvert. Probably Colin Wilson, too. And, obviously, our new Av, Kevin Connauton.

So, maybe the Avs PR team can remake this show. Or, perhaps, they can find another show to do reports on.