Colorado Avalanche: 5 Players who Would Go to Knotfest and 5 who Would Not

The Colorado Avalanche, so long into their offseason they’re almost into their preseason, could visit their home barn to watch the fantastic spectacle of Knotfest Roadshow.

The Colorado Avalanche and Denver Nuggets take over the Pepsi Center during the season. Add in the Colorado Mammoth, and the venue has little enough time to schedule anything else.

Granted, there certainly are concerts between October to April. However, you see a lot more at Pepsi Center in the summer months. In fact, tomorrow, one of the biggest music spectacles is coming to town.

No, I’m not talking about Taylor Swift — sorry, Jeremy Lambert. Slipknot’s Knotfest Roadshow is going to be taking over Pepsi Center tomorrow evening. Behemoth, Gojira, and Volbeat will be opening up for the greats themselves, Slipknot.

In case you’re not familiar with Slipknot, here’s one of their latest singles:

What a great song from them. It’s actually one of their mellower numbers, relatively speaking. Anyway, as you can see they’re all about the shock value and the metal music.

Now, in my opinion, metal and hockey go together. After all, they’re both beautiful and aggressive with the occasional turn to hilarity. However, these days, the most metal a lot of players seem to get into is Pearl Jam. They’re hard rockers, no doubt, but they’re not exactly in the realm of Slipknot.

In fact, I don’t know of any Colorado Avalanche players who would be into heavy metal. Nonetheless, in honor of this great spectacle taking over the Avs’ home barn, I’m going to speculate on five players who might actually attend such a show and five who definitely would not.

5 Players Who Would Try Knotfest Roadshow

I don’t know that any of these Colorado Avalanche players are into music like Slipknot, et al. However, I think the following players might give it a go.

Gabriel Landeskog: Our captain’s favorite band is ABBA. That’s a radically different style of music than Knotfest. However, our amiable Landy would probably stop by, shake a few hands, and smile his way through the show. I’m sure he’d also have some positive things to say about the experience because that’s just the kind of man he is.

Mikko Rantanen: Our star winger took great pleasure in shooting cupcakes at Minnesota Wild

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players during the All Star Weekend. I think  he’d appreciate the aggression represented in Knotfest. Maybe he could teach the Slipknot musicians his trademark song, and they could remake it.

Vladislav Kamenev: Fun fact — metal is very popular in Eastern Europe. Heavy metal bands that are just fringe here are superstars there. Kamenev, being from Russia, might well like this style of music. Plus, as we saw at the end of the season, if you take his hand and lead him to events, he comes along happily.

Nikita Zadorov: See above about Eastern Europeans. Plus, our own Russian mustang personifies what’s best about heavy metal — the beauty, aggression, and hilarity.

Samuel Girard: He’s got a quarter-sleeve tattoo and crashes cars. He’s know as La Tornade, which is even the name he gave his dog — he’s made for heavy metal. Ok, the dog is a doodle, but I still think Girard would enjoy himself at the show — unemotionally, of course.

Honorable mention: Ian Cole — Talk about someone who looks like a metal head. Supposedly he’s all about the country music. However, Cole would definitely fit in at a metal show.

And now five players who would probably never give Knotfest a try.

5 Players Who Would Stay Away from Knotfest Roadshow

Nathan MacKinnon: Our superstar, like me, isn’t into mainstream music. However, his non-mainstream musical choice is rap music. In fact, he likes to be called Nate Dogg after a rapper, and it wasn’t until about March that I actually realized that’s a real person. Anyway, I don’t think he’d enjoy metal any more than I like rap. (Nate going house with his dancing.)

Matthew Nieto: Ditto about his musical preference. Nieto even made his own rap video one time:

Even though Corey Taylor raps in Spit it Out, I just don’t think it would be Nieto’s cup of tea.

Tyson Jost: I love me some Josty, but he couldn’t hang at a metal concert. He teethed on Justin Bieber — he was a Belieber! — and now chills to Rhett Butler. He’d be chewed up and spit out by the Gojira crowd — he wouldn’t even make it to Slipknot. (Check out his running man dance!)

Cale Makar: Cale Makar is all country all the time. He’s from the Canadian equivalent of Denver — Calgary. He was excited to be going home to the Calgary Stampede. He wore a cowboy hat with total panache.

Ryan Graves: Arctic. Monkeys. Plus he seems very sensitive, especially with his glasses on. He could hang longer than Jost by virtue of his size, but I don’t think he’d enjoy himself at all.

Honorable mention: Colin Wilson — I think he’d be open-minded and consider going. However, I think he’d need to get his chakras realigned after the show.

Well, Avs Nation, there are still tickets left to Knotfest Roadshow. I’m certainly going to be there. I’m pretty sure none of the Colorado Avalanche players will be, though.