Colorado Avalanche Players as Christmas Story Characters

Merry Christmas, Colorado Avalanche fans. Tell me if you think I nailed matching the following Avs players to favorite Christmas characters.

The Colorado Avalanche are happily celebrating Christmas with their families. I hope you, too, are celebrating the holidays with loved ones.

In case you have a little time this Christmas day to do a little light reading, I thought you might appreciate a look at who Colorado Avalanche players would be in our favorite holiday movies.

Gabriel Landeskog, John McClane (Die Hard)

Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? It takes place at Christmas time. But it’s mostly just a shoot-em-up bang-bang movie.

Is Gabriel Landeskog a good captain? He definitely shows leadership skills. But he keeps getting suspended for going bang-bang on other players’ heads…

Jury’s still out on Die Hard as a Christmas movie, but I’m going with yes on Landeskog’s being a good captain.

Erik Johnson, the Grinch

If you’re an opponent, the last thing you want to do is come across Erik Johnson in your passing or shooting lane. He’ll be as stingy as the Grinch in taking away your scoring chances. I don’t know if Johnson’s shoes are too tight, but he’s definitely shown his heart “grew three sizes that day.”

Especially when he gave the beatdown to Zac Rinaldo in the Christmas Bloodbath…. Yeah, I know that’s not very Christmas-like.

Semyon Varlamov, Mr. Scrooge

Even worse at Christmas cheer — or any kind of cheer — to opponents than Erik Johnson is Semyon Varlamov. When the goalie is on his game, he’s stopping goals harder than Mr. Scrooge pinched pennies.

Carl Soderberg, Charlie Brown

Carl “There was a fight?” Soderberg is Charlie Brown. He doesn’t even have a cool nickname, like Soda Pop. He’s just Carl the way Charlie Brown is, well, Charlie Brown.

Last season was his pathetic little Christmas branch. This year, he’s turning his career into the spectacular tree in the Christmas classic.

Tyson Barrie, Buddy the Elf

It’s the hair — Barrie’s hair is all curly and weird like Will Farrel as Buddy the Elf. Tyson Barrie needs to figure out what to do with his hair. If Matt Duchene can figure out how to tame his unruly curls with product and a blow dryer, so can Barrie. Plus, Tyson has pointy eyebrows and irrepressible good will like Buddy.

Mikko Rantanen, Joulupukki

Joulopukki translates into “Christmas goat” from Finnish. While Joulopukki is now the Finnish version of Santa Claus, the character stems from a Yule Goat, which was an actual goat. Joulopukki  can even be seen as a monster, though some traditions have the goat being a benevolent force.

Mikko Rantanen is Finnish. And while I often liken him to a baby giraffe because he’s tall and falls down a lot, that doesn’t make him goat-like. But, hey, I bet you didn’t know about the Joulopukki  before.

Nikita Zadorov, the Nutcracker

He’s Russian. And he’ll crack your… ok, you get where that’s going.

Nikita Zadorov loves to play a physical game, but he’s as graceful as a… nope, it’s just the whole he’ll crack your nuts thing.

Nathan MacKinnon, Ralphie (A Christmas Story)

I don’t know if Ralphie ever convinces his parents a BB gun was the right Christmas gift, but Nathan MacKinnon is absolutely convincing us he’s a legit superstar. After being named the NHL’s first star for November, he’s still tearing it up on the ice.

Nail Yakupov, George Bailey (It’s a Wonderful Life)

George Bailey thought he had nothing to offer the world and that everyone would be better off without him. Obviously, the premise of the movie is that the world was not a better place without him.

Most hockey pundits and even fans had given up on Nail Yakupov. He’s still had some ups and downs this season. However, in terms of pure heart, he’s really come out for the Colorado Avalanche. His spirit and enthusiasm are infectious.

JT Compher, Kevin McCallister (Home Alone)

At first glance, the stony-faced JT Compher has little in common with a kid famous for overacting. However, it’s more the situation of the movie. Kevin accidentally gets left, well, home alone.

That’s the situation JT finds himself in. There are so many youngsters on the team that Compher, himself still a rookie, has had to take on a big brother role. And maybe there aren’t quite as many shenanigans as in the movie, JT is doing an excellent job.

Tyson Jost, Frosty the Snowman

Frosty the Snowman is a cheerful character, one who makes others around him feel the cheer. That’s Tyson Jost — he’s just filled with irrepressible charm. He’s carefree and happy-go-lucky, just like Frosty.

And not getting a puck to the face or a stick to the kisser can change that he looks like a cherub. He’s the little brother everyone wishes they had.

Sam Girard, Tiny Tim

Sam Girard is the smallest and youngest (by two month) player on the Colorado Avalanche. He’s not weak, but he’s the kind of skill player that other players come in to protect. Just ask Nathan MacKinnon. And Erik Johnson. And Gabriel Landeskog. They call came in to make the Arizona Coyotes answer for going after our Tiny Tim.

Alexander Kerfoot, Christmas Prince

Alexander Kerfoot carries the air of a professor about him. It’s all that Harvard education. If anyone could be the Christmas prince from Netflix’s addictive movie, A Christmas Prince, it would be our Professor.

Just like the 53 people who watch the movie daily, I can’t stop watching Kerfoot (or making fun of his name). He’s been the biggest surprise of the season, and I’m delighted to be watching him come into his own as an NHLer.

Next: Avalanche Christmas Carol

Merry Christmas, Avs Nation! I hope you get a lot of Colorado Avalanche goodies under the tree this year.