Colorado Avalanche Players on a Menu (Fun Day Post)

DENVER, CO - JANUARY 17: One of the big menus hung up on the wall through out the bar at My Brother's Bar. The Karagas family sold the bar to long-time waitress Paula Newman. Patrons gather for the lunch hour January 17, 2017. Owner Paula and her son Danny said they will still play the classical music and keep the same menu, nothing will change. (Photo By John Leyba/The Denver Post via Getty Images)
DENVER, CO - JANUARY 17: One of the big menus hung up on the wall through out the bar at My Brother's Bar. The Karagas family sold the bar to long-time waitress Paula Newman. Patrons gather for the lunch hour January 17, 2017. Owner Paula and her son Danny said they will still play the classical music and keep the same menu, nothing will change. (Photo By John Leyba/The Denver Post via Getty Images)

As we count down to the beginning of the Colorado Avalanche 2017-18 season, let’s while away the hot summer days with a lighthearted look at players on a menu.

The Colorado Avalanche season is still weeks away — 59 days until opening night, but who’s counting. It’s time to get a little puckish (excuse the pun) with the team.

Recently, this came across my Twitter feed:


As always, I’m appalled by anything related to the Minnesota Wild. However, it’s a creative concept. I decided it would be fun to consider Colorado Avalanche players if they were to have menu items named after them at their favorite restaurants.

So, let’s call this a Sunday Fun Day August tradition. Remember, Avs Nation, “just” 59 days until opening night.

Hamburger Joint

Colborne Soup: This humble dish delivers all its flavor in the first bite because, you know, that’s what Joe Colborne did with his opening night hat trick followed by a single goal the rest of the season. Nonetheless, the portion is as big as the player himself.

Comeau Sliders: These open-faced sliders resemble Blake Comeau’s bald pate. Yes, they slide off the plate as awkwardly as Blake Comeau passed the puck on a breakaway. No, we imagine he’ll never live that one down.

J.T. Onion Blossom: It’s his hair. That is one spiky ginger mane on JT Compher.

Barrie Turnovers: Tyson Barrie had 51 giveaways last season. Every time I go to Marczyk Market and get a berry hand pie, I make this joke:


Sushi Restaurant

Condor Nest Soup: An ode to bird’s nest soup, this dish is actually the foundation of your meal just like Erik Johnson is the foundation of the blueline. Served with a side of horse radish. (Because EJ is into horse racing…)

Shark-Nieto: This rare delicacy hails from the coast of California. Spiced with jalapenos, it’s street name is Jalapeno Nieto.

MacK Daddy Sashimi: Because you know he left those Minnesota Wild players raw when he broke their ankles:

Fine Dining

Dutchy Bouillabaisse: It slips and slides in the bowl the way Matt Duchene dekes and glides across the ice.

Pasta Andrighetto: This rare Swiss dish delivers when you least expect it. It’s not big in proportion, but it pairs well with the Dutchy Bouillabaisse.

Steak with Bernier Sauce: This dish will be your number-one favorite one day.

Barberio Wine: The obscure Quebecois cousin of the more famous Italian Barbera wine. (I legit was talking to a sommelier and told him I’d recently ordered the Barberio wine — yes, I’m Avs obsessed.)

Next: Cooking with the Avalanche Players

International Restaurant

Mikko Smörgåsbord: You might get meatballs and potatoes the same way Mikko Rantanen might fall and then score a goal. But you’re going to love it.

Zadorov Caviar: You may not want to pay for it, but you should. You really, really need it the way the Colorado Avalanche really, really need Nikita Zadorov.

Semyon Vodka: Because, you know, he’s Russian. I’m not saying Russians drink a lot of vodka — everyone’s saying Russians drink a lot of vodka.

And, because he did it, Gabriel Landeskog Swedish Pancakes:

For those of you keeping track at home, it’s about 41 days until Colorado Avalanche training camp.