Colorado Avalanche Players on a Menu (Fun Day Post)

As we count down to the beginning of the Colorado Avalanche 2017-18 season, let’s while away the hot summer days with a lighthearted look at players on a menu.

The Colorado Avalanche season is still weeks away — 59 days until opening night, but who’s counting. It’s time to get a little puckish (excuse the pun) with the team.

Recently, this came across my Twitter feed:

As always, I’m appalled by anything related to the Minnesota Wild. However, it’s a creative concept. I decided it would be fun to consider Colorado Avalanche players if they were to have menu items named after them at their favorite restaurants.

So, let’s call this a Sunday Fun Day August tradition. Remember, Avs Nation, “just” 59 days until opening night.

Hamburger Joint

Colborne Soup: This humble dish delivers all its flavor in the first bite because, you know, that’s what Joe Colborne did with his opening night hat trick followed by a single goal the rest of the season. Nonetheless, the portion is as big as the player himself.

Comeau Sliders: These open-faced sliders resemble Blake Comeau’s bald pate. Yes, they slide off the plate as awkwardly as Blake Comeau passed the puck on a breakaway. No, we imagine he’ll never live that one down.

J.T. Onion Blossom: It’s his hair. That is one spiky ginger mane on JT Compher.

Barrie Turnovers: Tyson Barrie had 51 giveaways last season. Every time I go to Marczyk Market and get a berry hand pie, I make this joke:

Sushi Restaurant

Condor Nest Soup: An ode to bird’s nest soup, this dish is actually the foundation of your meal just like Erik Johnson is the foundation of the blueline. Served with a side of horse radish. (Because EJ is into horse racing…)

Shark-Nieto: This rare delicacy hails from the coast of California. Spiced with jalapenos, it’s street name is Jalapeno Nieto.

MacK Daddy Sashimi: Because you know he left those Minnesota Wild players raw when he broke their ankles:

Fine Dining

Dutchy Bouillabaisse: It slips and slides in the bowl the way Matt Duchene dekes and glides across the ice.

Pasta Andrighetto: This rare Swiss dish delivers when you least expect it. It’s not big in proportion, but it pairs well with the Dutchy Bouillabaisse.

Steak with Bernier Sauce: This dish will be your number-one favorite one day.

Barberio Wine: The obscure Quebecois cousin of the more famous Italian Barbera wine. (I legit was talking to a sommelier and told him I’d recently ordered the Barberio wine — yes, I’m Avs obsessed.)

Next: Cooking with the Avalanche Players

International Restaurant

Mikko Smörgåsbord: You might get meatballs and potatoes the same way Mikko Rantanen might fall and then score a goal. But you’re going to love it.

Zadorov Caviar: You may not want to pay for it, but you should. You really, really need it the way the Colorado Avalanche really, really need Nikita Zadorov.

Semyon Vodka: Because, you know, he’s Russian. I’m not saying Russians drink a lot of vodka — everyone’s saying Russians drink a lot of vodka.

And, because he did it, Gabriel Landeskog Swedish Pancakes:

For those of you keeping track at home, it’s about 41 days until Colorado Avalanche training camp.