6 Reasons Erik Johnson Should Not Consider the Minnesota Wild

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Colorado Avalanche defenseman Erik Johnson. Mandatory Credit: Chris Humphreys-USA TODAY Sports

Colorado Avalanche defenseman Erik Johnson is getting ready to enter the final year of his current contract with the team. After next season, he’s slated to be an unrestricted free agent.

Now, unrestricted free agents, especially those of Erik Johnson‘s caliber, have quite a few options. One is to chase the money, like Paul Stastny did and like Ryan O’Reilly was fixing to do. Another is to give the hometown discount to your current team, like defenseman Johnny Oduya tried to do with the Chicago Blackhawks. (And like Paul Stastny said he would do for the Avalanche.)

Currently, an odd trend has been occurring up North. Players who grew up and/or went to college in Minnesota are willingly choosing to go play for the Minnesota Wild. Now, I don’t have to tell you that this is freakishly weird — why would anyone choose to go play for the Minnesota Wild unless a ridiculously lucrative contract — the kind that includes a small island off the coast of Mexico — is involved?

It started with Zach Parise a few years back, though he did get a stupidly lucrative contract, too. It has continued with former University of Minnesota Golden Gophers currently on the roster — Thomas Vanek, Erik Haula and Justin Fontaine. Defenseman Nate Prosser and forward Ryan Carter, who both grew up in Minnesota, just willingly re-signed with the team.

And now Mike Reilly who was drafted by the Columbus Blue Jackets and so had a chance to play for a team with much nicer uniforms — not to mention a more, shall we say, honest approach to hockey — eschewed his draft team and signed with Minnesota.

Some special guests to Mile High Sticking are going to examine this bizarre occurrence at a future date. We suspect the occult might be involved. However, until they get it sorted out, we in Avs Nation have a problem on our hands. The Colorado Avalanche’s #1 defenseman, Erik Johnson, not only attended the University of Minnesota, he grew up in that state. It’s a double-whammy of Minni-ness.

Let’s examine why exactly EJ should turn his back on the call of the Wild. (That’s right — I went there.)

#6: Minnesota Weather is Brutal

Here in Colorado, we get 300 days of sunshine a year. Some of those days may be brittle and cold, but there’s the sun. (It’s also true that many of those days are partially cloudy for some of the time.) Veteran winger Alex Tanguay even hooked fellow veteran winger Jarome Iginla into finishing his career here because of all that sun. (True story — I asked him about it on an open Twitter day.)

St. Paul Minnesota, home of the Wild, gets only 95 days of full sun and about 100 partially sunny days a year. That’s a full third fewer than Denver. That’s over three whole months of less sunshine. (True statistic — I got it here.)

Sunshine aside, it’s cold enough in Minnesota to freeze over your backyard as a hockey rink. As cool as it would be to have your own hockey rink in your backyard, imagine how cold it has to get. Or don’t imagine — in hockey season, the average temperature is around 20 F — that’s factoring in a “high” of 31 F and a low of 7 F. Record low is -60.

The blizzard of December, 2010, Minnesota style! This is the patio set on the top of the elevated deck.

Photo credit: Jon De Jong, Flickr

On the flip side, hockey season in Colorado heralds temperatures around 40 F. It’s cold, but not cold enough to maintain — or even start — a hockey rink in your backyard. The record low in Denver is -11, and that was set in 1898. Otherwise, the city gets to 1 F every now and again — and the news advises people to stay in.

This February, we had 70-degree days. No joke.

Erik Johnson travels with the team, of course, so he won’t always have to be home to suffer through those bitterly cold days. He’s got dogs to consider, though. Poor pooches.

#5: Colorado Scenery is Beautiful

Minnesota has some nice lakes apparently. For the most part, though, the state is just flat as a pancake. (That’s part of why the state is so susceptible to arctic cold blowing in from the frozen North, also known as Canada).

If you have to question how Colorado beats that, you’ve never been to Colorado. Or seen pictures of Colorado. Allow me to rectify that now.

Denver, Colorado:

Denver, Colorado. Photo credit Wikimedia Commons

Colorado Springs, Colorado:

Colorado Springs, Colorado. Photo credit Wikimedia Commons

An hour’s drive from downtown Denver gets you into the mountains, by the way — they’re not far at all. It takes a little longer to get to Vail, but it’s well worth the trip:

Gore Creek Drive, with Gore Range in the background. Vail, Colorado. Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

An hour’s drive from St. Paul gets you to… I don’t know. But I’m guessing it’s not this:

Colorado mountains. Photo credit Wikimedia Commons

Or this:

Colorado mountains. Photo credit Wikimedia Commons

Professional hockey players like Erik Johnson only get four guaranteed days off a month per the Collective Bargaining Agreement. Seems like EJ should want to spend it somewhere nice.

#4: Minnesota Fans are Awful

Feb 28, 2015; Denver, CO, USA; Minnesota Wild fans reacts to a goal by Minnesota Wild left wing

Erik Haula

(56) (not pictured) in the first period against the Colorado Avalanche at the Pepsi Center. Mandatory Credit: Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

To be honest, I don’t actually know how Minnesota Wild fans act in their home Xcel Energy Center. Well, there was that time they cheered when Avalanche goalie Semyon Varlamov got injured during a game — that’s generally considered poor form.

However, I definitely know how Minnesota Wild fans act in other arenas — awful. They have no respect for the fact that they are guests in someone else’s home. Unfortunately, I have no statistics for this observation, but there is video proof:

There they are, in Pepsi Center, egging on an admittedly drunk Avalanche fan and then punching him in the back of the head. There’s a lot going on in this situation, and I discuss it at length here. However, if this is how Wild fans act on their “good behavior” of being in someone else’s home, I can only imagine how awful they must be in their own home.

Actually, again I don’t really have to imagine. There were those trolls who saw pictures of Avalanche captain Gabriel Landeskog and Erik Johnson at a charity brunch for special needs children who thought it appropriate to taunt that the kids better watch their backs — and heads — from violence from these two players.

@GabeLandeskog92 @Jooleyaa watch out he may pu ch you for no reason when you arent expecting it!
— Lidy (@mnhockeynut85) March 2, 2015

Several trolls also regularly make nasty remarks on the Avalanche’s Instagram.

Plus, well, EJ kind of burned his bridges with Wild fans:

@rchfssm @Avalanche only a wild fan would chime in like that about a sick kid at a charity event. #notsurprised
— Erik Johnson (@6ErikJohnson) March 2, 2015

I’ve heard a lot of Wild fans say EJ is the only former Gopher they would not want back in Minnesota to play for the Wild. Agreed — his hockey home is here.

#3: Mike Yeo is Awful

Nov 7, 2013; Washington, DC, USA; Minnesota Wild head coach Mike Yeo watches from behind the bench against the Washington Capitals at Verizon Center. Mandatory Credit: Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

Minnesota Wild head coach Mike Yeo is a former AHL-level goon. This lack of… refinement shows in his coaching style. To him, yelling expletives and throwing a hissie fit is a valid way to manage assets, known as hockey players the least of whom (and yes, I’m talking Matt Cooke) has far superior talent than Yeo ever did.

And then there is Patrick Roy, whom everyone heralds as “the player’s coach.” The man who preaches patience while patiently expecting his assets to excel. And no one can question his commitment to excellence — his hockey pedigree precludes that.

If you have to ask what Patrick Roy‘s hockey pedigree is, welcome to being a newbie hockey fan. We are delighted to have you amongst the fold. Here is some reading to get you started:

Next: Patrick Roy Changes the Face of Hockey

Next: Cult of Patrick Roy

Or you can just know Patrick Roy is a four-time Stanley Cup Champion with a ridiculous list of awards as a player who has also already won the Jack Adams Award for coaching excellence.

#2: Altitude Provides an Edge

Pepsi Center is at one mile high. Photo credit: Nadia Archuleta

Let’s start considering some sports reasons for staying in Colorado. After all, Erik Johnson is a man’s man sort of, ah, man, so maybe he doesn’t care about creature comforts like warmth and beauty. Let’s consider the very real advantage living at a high altitude gives an athlete.

The most obvious observation is that playing home games at altitude gives players an advantage over opponents as the visitors gasp and try to get air at one mile high. Altitude sickness is no joke. If you’re not acclimated, you get lethargic and nauseated, especially during exertion.

On the flip side, exerting yourself at altitude when you’re acclimated only yields the effects natural to your fitness level. If you’re fit, you’re fine.

Actually, if you’re fit at altitude, you’re more than fine. Your body becomes accustomed to doing more (exercise) with less (oxygen.) In fact, the body produces more red blood cells to compensate for the lack of oxygen. This actually increases an athlete’s strength, giving him a competitive advantage that lasts up to two weeks away from altitude.

Granted, the Avalanche occasionally have road trips longer than two weeks, but this still gives EJ and the other Avs an edge the majority of the time.

(Full disclosure, the studies of how altitude affects athletic performance are not complete. However, the science is solid.)

#1: Cornerstone of the Avalanche Defense

Apr 28, 2014; Saint Paul, MN, USA; Minnesota Wild forward

Zach Parise

(11) scores a goal in front of Colorado Avalanche defenseman Erik Johnson (6) and goalie

Semyon Varlamov

(1) during the third period in game six of the first round of the 2014 Stanley Cup Playoffs at Xcel Energy Center. The Wild defeated the Avalanche 5-2. Mandatory Credit: Brace Hemmelgarn-USA TODAY Sports

Truthfully, the previous five reasons are not factors Erik Johnson is likely to consider, especially if Minnesota offers him his own Mexican island to come play for the Wild. However, this last reason is one I hope the player really is considering strongly — he is the undisputed #1 defenseman on the team.

Joe Sakic and Patrick Roy went out this off-season with the sole intent of finding a defensive partner worthy of pairing with Erik Johnson. They did not say they were looking for a “top pairing” defenseman because the blueline needed shoring up. No, they said over and over again they were looking for a partner for EJ on the top pairing. They wanted a defenseman capable of playing on the top line with EJ.

Last season Johnson saw his minutes and his role with the team increase. He led all players in ice time. He played on both the power play and the penalty kill. He definitely took on more of a leadership role, both on the ice and off — coach Roy praised his leadership.

Erik Johnson is not going to have that role in Minnesota. He will always be #2 to the Wild’s cornerstone on defense, Ryan Suter. Suter is locked in a very lucrative contract until the year 2025. I am not making that up — he signed a 13-year contract worth $98 million that isn’t up for 10 more years. That’s too long for EJ to wait to take on the #1 role — especially since he already has it here.

Hopefully none of this is even an issue. Avalanche GM Joe Sakic said “getting EJ done” was a priority. Johnson seems to have made his hockey home here, playing in a beautiful state for a Hall of Famer coach — with the best fans in hockey, if I say so myself.