The Colorado Avalanche players were good-willed enough to participate in a ridiculous game, the Mouthguard Challenge, which yielded hilarious results.
The Colorado Avalanche media team always go out of their way to make the players more relatable. Every year they do skits that they play between periods at Pepsi Center and that they send out on Twitter throughout the season.
Well, there’s a relatively new game out called Mouthguard Challenge in which players wear a plastic apparatuses that hold your lips apart. I believe its initial use was for when you’re getting your teeth whitened, but I, personally, always associate it with Rammstein’s “Mein Teil,” which made this game creepy for me at first.
Anyway, the mouthguard keeps the lips spread apart. While wearing the apparatus, you’re supposed to say a phrase that your partner has to guess. Of course, with your lips so far apart, sounds such as “m,” “w,” “p,” and “b” are difficult to articulate. They usually just come out as a vowel, usually “uh.”
That’s the challenge. Here’s an example from the beginning of last year with the players trying to articulate “Whoopi Goldburg:”
As you can see, sounds such as “g” and “d” are easy for the players. However, that first name gives them real pause. Also, no fair combining a Swiss and a German — they had no chance. Watch how quickly the two Americans get the name.
Ok, at least with the above challenge, you have an actress — something a clutch of male hockey players can forseeably relate to. The next challenge, “beautiful lipstick palette,” has got to be well outside their wheelhouse:
The sounds of “b,” “f,” and “p” featuring so prominently… it’s a wonder they got any at all. (Also, Colin, what is “Udaho”? Idaho’s trashy cousin?) Also, I’m trying to figure out what a beautiful lipstick potato can possibly be.
And now something that’s in no one’s wheelhouse — astronaut pants:
Captain Gabriel Landeskog’s wife has been having his stand in too many Sephora lines because that’s the only way “Ash and enhance” makes sense. Although Tyson Jost tries to use his college education to teach Landy, “Think about the letter I can’t say.”
Also, shout out to Matthew Nieto? He’s a wiz at Mouthguard Challenge. Erik Johnson and Colin Wilson are good partners.
And now something I don’t think even exists — ferret farmers. The “f,” the “r,” the “m”… that’s just impossible:
I like that Alexander Kerfoot knows that francophone Sam Girard might not even know some of the words. Also, Landy and Josty got off on a tangent with “parrot horror,” the latter word of which can sound like a word that sounds like… well, it starts with a silent “w.” (The later “harder” doesn’t help matters any.)
Here’s one they should all get, though — tomato soup:
Oh, wait, tomato soup would be too easy. Instead we have “bland tomato bisque.” All those “b” sounds… Also, Sven Andrighetto apparently eats tornados. (Watch out Sam Girard.) Also Jost’s “Ok, dad,” to Gabe… classic!
So, trying to pronounce weird phrases isn’t the only way to play the Mouthguard Challenge. You have other tasks you can do, too — such as blow out birthday candles. You know Marilyn Monroe’s description of “just put your lips together and blow”? Really tough when you can’t do the first part:
Yeah, I’m going to take a pass on eating any of that birthday cake. Even the players acknowledge it’s all gross. Also, I think Gabriel Bourque gave himself a hernia during this challenge.
I also think it’s hilarious that Jost comments that he “almost spit a loogie” over the cake, while Gabe points out his spit his whole mouthguard out!
Again, I don’t think I’d want any of that cake.
What else can you blow? (Keep it G-rated.) Bubbles! Here are the Colorado Avalanche players attempting to blow bubbles with their mouthguards in:
Excuse me, but Erik Johnson’s tongue is disturbing. I think he spends way too much time without his dentures in. I also like Sven thinking outside the box and trying to blow bubbles with his nostrils. (It worked, too!)
Something else you can blow — paper balls across a table, This challenge seems right up the Colorado Avalanche players’ wheelhouse. I mean, they spend their whole lives trying to get something across a line:
Tyson Barrie, that’s a lot of drool. Like, bloodhound-level of drool. Also, first Jost and then Landeskog blowing out their actual mouthguards… that’s what this game is made for.
Also, that game is disturbing af.
Now, another challenging game is Heads Up with a mouthguard. It’s kind of a cousin to the first game. However, one player has an Ipad with the phrase, which he holds over his head (heads up). The other player has to describe the phrase so the first player can understand it:
So, they can’t just say the word, they have to use their mouthguard-challenged mouth to describe it! And it doesn’t help that, as Patrik Nemeth points out, there’s sometimes a language barrier.
Round 2 of Heads Up:
Can we celebrate the captain thinking roosters say “ca-coo”? (To be fair, roosters make different sounds depending on the language.) Also, the hair on the ears for bobcat! Not like they have, you know, bobbed tails…
Well, who knows what the Colorado Avalanche media team and players have planned for us next season. I’m sure it will be, as always, highly entertaining.