Criminal Minds Investigate the Minnesota Wild

Uniforms

Minnesota Wild forward Zach Parise displays the ugliness of the logo and the uniforms. Mandatory Credit: Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports

Dr. Spencer Reid would like to point out that the the Minnesota Wild home uniforms were clearly designed by a schizophrenic. And he should know — his mom’s one. He points to the craziness of the disjointed logo.

A forest with a river, sun and star are all encompassed in an animal’s head. “This shows how fractured their thinking is,” he says.

After all, the Minnesota Wild employ a goon, Matt Cooke, who ended Dennis Marc Savard’s career and ended Avalanche defenseman Tyson Barrie‘s season with his dirty plays. Yet they whine and complain that other teams employ goonish tactics against them. Indeed, they point to a legal check self-same Tyson Barrie, all 5-foot-10 of him, laid on 6-foot-2, 205-pound Nate Prosser, crying out as if Barrie assaulted the bruiser.

For his part, Dr. Reid just shakes his head at such obvious evidence of schizophrenic paranoia.

Veteran profiler David Rossi likes to talk about the… garishness of their red and green home uniforms. “Besides being in bad taste, those uniforms reek of attention-seeking behavior.”

Speaking of attention-seeking behavior, how about their outrage over Avalanche captain Gabriel Landeskog‘s little smack on Mikko Koivu‘s nose at the end of the game. At the time Colorado center Nathan MacKinnon‘s undereyes were filling with blood after Sean Bergenheim broke his nose with an illegal elbow check.

Next: Goal Tending