How Picks Stole Scoring: Calvin Pickard Christmas Poem

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Forwards like Colorado Avalanche center Matt Duchene celly after goals. Mandatory Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

Tomorrow was game day…

Avs skaters and opponents alike

Would settle on in to shoot as they’d like.

And they’d score. And they’d score!

And they’d SCORE!


They’d score on slap shots and rare toe drags,

Which was something that made Calvin Pickard gag.

And then, they’d do something that was least like a boon.

Every skater on either team, the skilled and the goon.

Would shout and they’d celly

They’d leap into arms like there’s magnets in their bellies.

They’d celly! And they’d celly!

They’d dig for gold and throw their bodies against the glass.

They’d make Captain Morgan – whom Picks wanted to kick in the ass.

The more Picks thought about the cellies, the more he knew

Goal scoring would make him too blue.

He growled with his goalie pads nervously tapping,

“I MUST find some way to stop goals from happening.”