How Picks Stole Scoring: Calvin Pickard Christmas Poem
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On the 10th day of the 12 Days of Avs Christmas, let’s look at the first of two beloved Christmas poems. We all know the story of how the Grinch Stole Christmas, right? Well, how about Colorado Avalanche goalie Calvin Pickard, or the Goalie Who Stole Games.
Calvin Pickard, the rookie goalie who only made the team because of injuries, now boasts the second best save percentage in the NHL. Is he just a goalie on a streak, or the surprising future of the Colorado Avalanche? Well, that may be a post for another day. For now, let’s just celebrate his Grinchy ways when it comes to allowing goals.
Skaters like Colorado Avalanche center Nathan MacKinnon like to score, score, score. Mandatory Credit: Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports
Every forward in the NHL liked scoring goals a lot
But Picks, who played for the Colorado Avalanche, did NOT.
Calvin Pickard hated goals! The whole goal-scoring game.
Don’t ask why – for all goalies it’s the same.
It could be that his pads weren’t screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his skates were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Was that his five-hole was simply just too small.
Forwards like Evgeni Malkin would get so many looks on Calvin Pickard. Mandatory Credit: Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports
On the eve before game day…
For, tomorrow he knew,
All the Avs centers, wingers and even D-men
Would take to the ice. They’d pinch right on in.
And then! Oh, the looks. Oh, the Looks! Looks! Looks! Looks!
That’s one thing he hated! The LOOKS! LOOKS! LOOKS! LOOKS!
With the Avs pinching in, opponents got so many scoring chances.
In practice he watched the Avs skaters.
“They’re practicing backhands” he snarled with a sneer.
“Wrist shots, spin-o-rama, one timers…”
“Tomorrow is game day –it’s practically here!”
Yet Avs skaters practiced to ignite their scoring touch.
That left Calvin Pickard facing looks way too much.
Forwards like Colorado Avalanche center Matt Duchene celly after goals. Mandatory Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports
Tomorrow was game day…
Avs skaters and opponents alike
Would settle on in to shoot as they’d like.
And they’d score. And they’d score!
And they’d SCORE!
SCORE! SCORE! SCORE! SCORE!
They’d score on slap shots and rare toe drags,
Which was something that made Calvin Pickard gag.
And then, they’d do something that was least like a boon.
Every skater on either team, the skilled and the goon.
Would shout and they’d celly
They’d leap into arms like there’s magnets in their bellies.
They’d celly! And they’d celly!
They’d dig for gold and throw their bodies against the glass.
They’d make Captain Morgan – whom Picks wanted to kick in the ass.
The more Picks thought about the cellies, the more he knew
Goal scoring would make him too blue.
He growled with his goalie pads nervously tapping,
“I MUST find some way to stop goals from happening.”
Colorado Avalanche goalie Calvin Pickard makes saves against superstars like Evgeni Malkin and Sindey Crosby. Mandatory Credit: Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports
Then he got a plan.
An awful plan.
Picks got a wonderful, AWFUL plan.
“I know just what to do!” Picks laughed behind his mask.
And he made ugly saves that left Avs fans aghast.
“All I need is a goalie glove…”
Picks looked around.
And, since he was in the equipment room, a glove he soon found.
“With this glove and my paddle, I’ll stop every puck.”
And he did id so frequently, now way could it be luck.
34 saves, 39, 47 — that was our Picks!
And he chuckled and butterflied, “What a great goalie trick!”
Staring down from his crease with a scary painted mask
At opponent skaters who skated on past.
With his pads, skates, glove and great goalie lid
He stood there on game-day stopping even Sid the Kid.
Which is pretty much where we, the Avs Nation, find ourselves – with a rookie goalie who HATES to allow forwards to score goals on him.
But then, outside of practice, isn’t that what we hate, too?